The Idiot Who Parked Next to Me in the Maryland Avenue Garage Last Week--A Review

Usually, a review contains both positive and negatives aspects of a performance, work of literature, etc. I am, however, having trouble finding anything positive to report about the parking job that was executed in the space next to mine last Thursday.

The driver of this SUV started their run of poor parking judgement by parking their giant, gas-guzzling behemoth in a spot clearly labeled COMPACT. I have seen this phenomenon before, but have overlooked it when the parking job was done with careful consideration of the actual compact cars parked nearby. This person, however, had no such consideration. Not only were they parked in a spot clearly too small for their vehicle, they also parked so crookedly that I, parked in the space next to them, was forced to walk around my car on the passenger side and go around the front of my car to get to the driver's side door. The right corner of the bumper of said behemoth was, by my rough estimate, three or four inches from the left corner of my bumper. This, of course, meant that on the other side of their vehicle, they'd taken up a corner of the adjacent parking space, rendering it useless for anyone else.

I won't comment on the blatant disrespect this driver appears to show for the rest of humanity. Perhaps they were late for class and they had an important, life-altering test to take and had no time to stop, back up, and correct their disaster of a parking job. Perhaps they suffer from a condition in which they cannot tell when they've parked like a jackass. Who am I to say? All I can do is report what I see. I will say, however, that they didn't hit my car when they performed this profound display of ineptitude. There's that, at least.